An Attachment

Zaldy Carreon De Leon Jr.

Time to grow: and I need to disperse to another world where I could bear fruits. Though I grew here, I must do this for a chance in a lifetime. And I did.

I felt the spirit of unity. They talked to our bandmaster Sir Toto, and there we assembled the new Pasig Regiment. However, I have broken this promise I have sworn to six or seven years ago because of reasons beyond my will, beyond my actions and beyond my thoughts. For all those who knew me and the problem, I will just ask this question: “For a true Musician, which is a dream – five thousand pesos or a (my beloved) Marimba?”

O dear friends, beloved Musicians, the truth shall prevail. However, if all the world don’t believe in me, I will just lean on the caressing arms of Music and tell her my disappointments. She will listen to my grief. And then she will hand me a lyre to play on her guise the beautiful sounds of love, or the amazing melodies of Tchaikovsky’s triumphant 1812, the jubilant Russian Song or the everlasting Broadways. Oh! If I can only bring the past back and die earlier before my feelings are hurt and the truth is distorted, I may not see these heartaches anymore. But I stand still. I know the Truth. I serve Music. I am a disciple of Arts. No one can destroy my reputation as an individual and as a musician. So I go on with my life away from the Band but even nearer to Music. In my solitude, I learned a thing: In life, we shall have the rises and falls; it is in your hands whether you’ll continue to fall, or rise after you fall. But I choose to stand. That is better than not doing anything at all.”

Thus, there is a poem which I loved so much I have read it more than ten times; but I don’t want to memorize it because if so I may not read it for the eleventh time. It is written by one Walt Whitman on his 1892 Edition of Leaves of Grass, the poem has title of Poets to Come, it reads:

Poets to come! Orators, singers, musicians to come!

Not to-day is to justify me what I am for,

But you, a new blood native, athletic, continental,

greater than before known,

Arouse! For you must justify me.

. . . Leaving it to you to prove and define it,

Expecting the main things from you.

Whitman knew that after him will come future poets as well orators, singers and musicians who would contribute something like what he have done in his lifetime; or even greater things than his works. But this man is expecting something for us to define and prove.

Yes, we are expected by this great man to even greater things. If we are musicians, we are expected to bring a more beautiful music and play as well more grandiose pieces . If we are poets, we have to create a more substantial poem. If we singers, we are expected to sing more beautiful songs.

The world seems older to me that I must run in everything I should do. Indeed I am not becoming younger. Everyday cuts a piece of my nerve that I may not write anything at all. But all of these are consequences of our life, as long as I live I shall but promise to enjoy it.

May the Band provide me the stage to set my emotions in fire and express all my desires. Thus, I will tell you, dear friends, once again, all of us are called by Music to be in her service. Let us answer the call of the past to make Music a living example of continuity wherein we define and prove that our crafts are worthy of acknowledgment.

To wit, I say, Music saves a piece of my soul. Music is my soul.